I will not overthink this

So my mom thought I was a ghost again, and she asked me why I seem like I’m made out of nothing sometimes.

CUZ NINJA, mom. CUZ NINJA.

Every time my mom looks like she’s going to have a heart attack, my sister screams or my brother and dad actually quiver, I just stare at them all

and they’re like, “Jesus christ. I didn’t know there was a person there.”

“Har har,” I says.

“I swear,” they would uniformly protest, “don’t go sneaking around like you’re a ghost or an elemental spirit or some shit.”

I mean, I guess I can be light-footed— I’ve give them that— but sometimes, I’ll be like, “What the hell? I was just sitting/standing/lying here/thought you knew I was walking with you; I wasn’t sneaking up on anyone.” 

I even drag my feet/stomp like an ogre/hum/sing while I’m walking around whenever I remember not to give mom a heart attack when she’s around.

HOWEVER, mother, if I’m just sitting in my room in full view, it’s not on me if you still get a heart attack because, apparently, I phased back into corporeal existence after you thought you’d been staring into nothingness. I mean, I’ll make sounds when I walk and stop standing still in weird places, but that’s really as far as I can go to control my ninja powers. Sry.